Handle with Kiddie Gloves
It’s been one of those days where self doubt has crept into my internal dialogue. Coming back from vacation means I feel a bit out of the loop, out of sorts and out of practice. I could have given myself a little slack, but that’s just not how I roll.
Even though I took the time to plan out my day, my schedule went wonky early this morning. I was able to recover, but my first inclination was to berate myself for setting overly-ambitious goals for a Monday. From there, things devolved to the point where I teared up for no apparent reason around 11:30. This led to more self criticism and feeling foolish for being unnecessarily overwhelmed.
Luckily, I recognized this pattern before it got entirely out of control and I paused to take a few deep breaths and enjoy the healthy lunch I packed. Proper breathing like I learned in yoga and Love Beets make everything better. As I ate, I considered the advice a friend suggested when I last wrote about my internal dialogue (check that post out here). She suggested I imagine I’m speaking to 4-year-old Mollie to practice being a little kinder to myself.
I’m not that into kids until they’re 5 or 6. Yes, I recognize I birthed and cared for two sons who I loved dearly from day one, but honestly didn’t really start enjoying them as people until around age 5. However, I fully remember that developmental stage where little people thrive on encouragement and positive reinforcement. I also remember that harsh tones and judgment were counterproductive. Instead, I found success with Ollie and Harry when remaining calm, staying positive and using reassuring tones.
I took a few moments to rewrite my internal dialogue. Turning “you’re lazy” into “you’ll get back into your routine in a couple of days.” And changing “you’re stupid” into “you’re brain is out of practice and a little foggy.” And shifting the ever-present “you’re fat” into “it will feel good to get focused on healthier habits again.”
In all reality, it’s challenging to get back into a routine after being off for 8-10 days. Sleep patterns vary, traveling is tiring and relaxation mindset is not the same as productivity mindset. I would never expect a 4-year-old to hop right back into a routine without a hiccup or two, so why not give myself a little of that same leeway?
While I recognize 40+ Mollie should be a little more resilient than a 4-year-old, there is no reason to be mean to myself. As I get better at setting realistic expectations and setting myself up for success, I’ll have less of a need to treat myself with kid gloves. Until then, I need to remember that I’m only human, I deserve kindness and success happens one small step at a time.
